12/07/11 Was My Child Abused?  Our Trauma & Loss Center Offers Tips to Help Ensure Your Child's Safety Your child goes to a neighbor’s house for a “sleep over” with friends. In the weeks following, he or she has nightmares and is unusually anxious.  You begin worrying that something happened. Was your child abused?  Maybe. “Talking to your child, even a very young child, about sexual abuse can help prevent abuse and ensure an open channel of communication should abuse occur,” said Sarah Kelly-Palmer, LICSW, of the Trauma and Loss Center at Family Service of Rhode Island. “Reviewing ‘okay’ and ‘not okay’ touch and who can and cannot touch which body parts are very important steps. Talking about healthy physical boundaries and maintaining open lines of communication regarding sexual matters are also important preventive measures.” And be aware, she says: sexual abuse is usually perpetrated by someone the child knows, not strangers. There are warning signs that sexual abuse has occurred, she says.  “The signs include nightmares, sleep difficulties, angry outbursts, anxiety, depression and not wanting to be left alone,” she said.  “Sexual knowledge or behaviors inappropriate for a child’s age are also signs.” She points out that often children will not disclose sexual abuse because they have been threatened or bribed not to talk about it.  “They may fear removal from the home or other punishment,” she said.  “They may have guilt or shame about the event, or they may fear repercussions from the perpetrator.” It’s critical to assure the child that he or she will be safe after disclosing what happened to them. The good news, she says, is that recovery is possible from childhood sexual abuse because there are effective treatments based on research.  Family Service of Rhode Island is part of the National Child Traumatic Stress Network, the only Rhode Island organization to belong to this network which was established by Congress to raise the standard of care and increase access to service for traumatized children and their families.